Safety Planning

Whether you are planning to leave an abusive partner or remain in the relationship, it is critical to develop a safety plan to protect yourself and your children from your abuser. Once physical, emotional, or sexual violence has occurred in a relationship, it is likely to happen again.

It is very important to plan for your safety and you should consider seeking expert help from a domestic violence agency.

These online resources can help as you prepare a safety plan.

* The National Domestic Violence Hotline.
    -- Thehotline.org - Create Your Personal Safety Plan
 
* Abuse Recovery Ministry Services.
    -- Abuserecovery.org - Safety Planning form.

To get started, please review the tips below.

Planning Ahead

• Recognize the signs of abuse.
• Develop and practice a plan with your children. Teach them how to call 911.
• Arrange to have a safe place to go where the abuser can't find you.
• Talk to an advocate at a domestic violence agency.
• Make copies of important papers and hide them. You may need things such as your identification, birth certificates, financial and insurance information, Social Security cards, immigration papers, or any court orders.
• Have key phone numbers available.
• Pack and hide essential items -- like clothes, papers, medication -- in an overnight bag for you and your children. Make sure you can get to it in a hurry.
• Put aside money and spare keys.
• Consider getting a Domestic Violence Order for Protection.
• If the abuser has access to your computer, use a safer computer that can't be monitored by the abuser (e.g., at a public library or a community center). (See Internet Safety)
• Consider setting up your own accounts for email, cell phone, finances, etc., so that the abuser cannot monitor or track you through these accounts.

During an Incident

• Get out if you can and call for help - 911 or a trusted friend. When calling from a cell phone, state your location first.
• Avoid the kitchen, bathroom, garage, and rooms with only one exit.

If Your Abuser Has Left

• Consider changing the locks; secure doors and windows.
• Change passwords and account PIN numbers.
• Change your phone number.
• Avoid being alone - arrange to have someone stay with you.
• Tell trusted friends, family, and neighbors what is going on.
  - Give them copies of any protection orders or no-contact orders.
  - Give them a photo of yourself.

Safety at the Workplace, School, and Public Places

• Inform your work, daycare, school, trusted family, friends, and neighbors. Give them copies of protection orders or no-contact orders.
• Establish a code-word or sign so that friends, family, teachers, or co-workers know when to call for help.
• Change your daily routine.
• Plan ahead for possible unexpected contact with the abuser.

If You Have Left

• Leaving can be a dangerous time. Contact a domestic violence agency and develop your safety plan with an advocate.
• Consider keeping your new location and information confidential and unlisted.
• Avoid contact with people who might give your information to the abuser.
• Think ahead and identify locations where the abuser could find you: avoid these places.
• Plan ahead for possible unexpected contact with the abuser.